School Song - Matilda The Musical (music and lyrics by Tim Minchin)

(I apologise now for the length of this, but it involves Tim Minchin, so what did you expect, really?)

There is a dark (and glittery) corner of my iPod that is reserved for all the soundtracks of various musicals I have on there that I’ve seen, been in or loved.
Yes, musical theatre is often cheesy and very far removed from all the other music that I listen to, but it has a special place in my heart.
Anyway. One soundtrack that I don’t have on my iPod yet is the one for Matilda The Musical. That’s pretty stupid as it’s actually, I think, the best musical I’ve seen to date, and with the music and lyrics being written by one of favourite ever people, Tim Minchin, I really do need to get it on there.
The songs are musically wonderful and are absolute lyrical genius, and the first time I saw the musical particularly (I’ve seen it twice now. And want to see it again. A lot) I was utterly blown away. Especially by this song. It’s a song that plays when Matilda has just started school and the older children are teaching the younger ones the alphabet. It’s hideously clever so I’m posting the alphabet section of the lyrics so you can all see for yourself.

So you think you’re A-ble
to survive this mess by B-ing
a prince or a princess, you will soon C,
there’s no escaping trage-D. 
And E-ven 
if you put in heaps of F-ort, 
you’re just wasting ener-G, 
cos your life as you know it is H-cient history. 
I have suffered in this J-ail, 
I’ve been trapped inside this K-ge for ages, 
this living h-L. 
But if I try I can rem-M-ber, 
back before my life had N-ded, 
before my happy days were O-ver, 
before I first heard the P-ling of the bell. 
Like you I was Q-rious, 
so innocent I R-sked a thousand questions 
but unl-S you want to suffer listen up and 
I will T-ch you a thing or two. 
U listen here, my dear, 
you’ll be punished so se-V-rely if you step out of line
and if you cry it will be W should stay out of trouble 
and remember to be X-tremely careful. 

Y? 

Why? Did you hear what he said?
Just you wait for Phy-Z